How I feel after seeing 13 Reasons Why

Hello, firstly I'm going to explain to you my situation so that you can understand how I look, what I did, what I believe in and other facts. It is much easier to understand the context. I'm male. I'm 18 years old. I have a very similar haircut as Clay. I'm short. My Hair is brown as my eyes are. I'm in the age of Hannah and Clay. I've got a little brother. I love him, but we are often arguing. After a fight I feel so bad. My parents are quiet good parents. I go to high school and I'm not really into making friends. So I tried to keep being friendly, but it is just hard searching and keeping the new won friends. I do not trust anyone. I'm very sceptical and sometime just aggressive. I'm feeling so bad after a shout or a hit I did. I'm not used to talk to people but there are times where I'm really open and unstoppable. I don't know why and how I do that. I'm often very ambitious but not like to much...

Yes I cried so many times while watching the episodes of 13RW and I didn't feel bad doing it. Through my life I often cried and I was angry at myself that I did that. But thats how I am. There were some scenes which touched my heart and made me feel so many things at once. Are we young people always like that, is it going to stop once and for all, all these feelings and thoughts? As I understand, it is pretty normal to have many emotion in that part of your life. We feel and do things we actually don't want to do. We can't ask for help. Our hearts get broken so many times. We want to be perfect, to be good. I feel the high pressure and I'm not a big fan of it at all.

I have to admit that I didn't start watching the series in the first week after its release. I actually started three weeks ago and watched the last Episode on Saturday the 13.05.2017, then with headphones so that I couldn't missunderstand any word they say. I rewatched important parts. As I said I was touched, I like how Katherine is acting. I love her personality in the movie and in reality.

While watching the end of the first season, my brother was on his phone and he knew that I was watching this series. He laughed, because he had! the opinion that this kind of series is something just for Girls. No it is not, men as women can be in such a bad situation as Hannah Baker. Both genders and many others can commit suicide.
Is it so easy to do? I think yes, because what you need is a broken life, soul and sake. But as I'm thinking about that right now I've got the opinion, that a suicide is hard to finish, I mean you really have to be so destroyed and lost.
Sucide is just for weaklings - Skye
So many People can destroy your life so fast and easily. If you are strong enough, I can imagine that someone can overcome the bad time and live on. Thats what Hannah tried too. She couldn't keep on. There were to many obstacales for her and other human beings out there who wanted her to suffer, indirectly. Before I started watching I heard that there are some people that are criticizing the show for its messages. I was pleased to hear that. I'm supporting the idea that we have to talk about suicide and rape and so many other things like gun violence...
I wanted to watch this show in any case, because I, as I said, was very curious about the cast, the crew and the theme of this show. I honestly would have never thought that 13 Reasons Why could make me think about what had happen to Hannah and probably to many other people that long and hard. My brain just couldn't forget how Bryce did that what he did or how Hanna's father was acting about hid daughters death. I was touched and moved. As I noticed that these, at the beginning innocent people, were dark in their inside. It made me just realize that we, me aswell, are sometimes just wrong. We do things we want to forget. We hide mistakes we made. That is not okey. Such things can destroy lifes.

I had some thoughts on the cast, here they are:

Clay: lovely boy, who is well taught and intelligant. I can identify with him in his behaviour as in his look. I do like him as a person. Our families are very similar.

Tayler: He made mistakes. He loved her and if he had done it differently he would be together with Hannah. I feel sorry about him and hope he doesn't do something stupid. He could take revenge on the others. He already told them the information with the tape. As I think, he could have images of the others which they can use as evidence.

Zach: I can't understand him. I don't know what he wants. He is as, I imagine, a good boy, but just because he is a very insecure man he destroyed Hanna's life. Why would someone even do that kind of stuff? Was it jealousie?

Marcus: I hate him. In every possibel way. He disgust me. How can he even be such a dick. I don't like the actor himself. I think he is very arrogant and is now very "I've did it, I'm famous". Not my favorite. He is so fake.

Hannah: I love her. I mean I love Katherine. She is definetely my type. She is so beautiful and such a good actresse. I like the character Hannah as well. She is funny, intelligent and so naiv. I felt so sorry for her. She was very ambitious and tried to get up everytime she fell down. 

You've almost survived the post. Here is my last post about Depression, it is a poem. I'm sorry for the bad punch, but laughing is such a good therapy.

Jessica: She was funny at the beginning and I liked her. In mid way as I saw what jealousie can do with someone, I hated her. And in the end I felt sorry for her. She is probably a good girl but her beauty makes her destroy herself (does this make sense?).

Sheri: For a cheerleader very polite and down to earth. She tries to be perfect, what I'm trying too. That is impossible. We have so many mistakes. I was reliefed that she made the call and probably confessed.

Alex: It is normal to try to be in the group of the cool guys, but we really have to open our eyes and realize that this- trying to be cool thing- isn't important. You have to do things you aren't used to do, drinking, fucking, destroying, gossiping or being aggressiv. The good thing about him is, that he sees his fault (almost the only one in the group of 13 persons).

Justin: He is okeyish, but I still don't feel bad about him. He is two times on the tapes! 2! He has to admit that he fucked up way to hard.

Ryan: He wants to get his career. He, as I understands, wanted to give Hannah a platform where she could publish her good work. It was just stupid, because it was very clear that she is going to suffer from it. And he should have asked her first. And I feel good that he can't keep his journal.

Courtney: She needs a vagine and a life. Can't even admit that it is her fault. She is 100% not a good friend and not a good studant.

Mr. Porter: He had one fucking job and he fucked it up. How can he even stay there and tell him that noone could have safed her. I want him to lose his job.

Bryce: LET HIM SUFFER IN HELL. Why do such kind of people even exist. I can't understand. He made me so angry and sad.

It did good to write that down. I know I couldn't be very precise, but thats how I feel right know. I'm just confused of all these feelings and thoughts.
About the Author:

Bineaz is not my real name. And yes, there are some pics out there with my face on it, but still, I don't like to be so public with my life. I'm 18 years old and I do enjoy writing and telling other people about my storys every Saturday (see shedule). My english isn't that good, thats why I'm writing. (I'm working on it) I love talking about mode, technology, marketing or just about something that happened to me and occupies me. If you like my post and my Blog, a comment would be appreciated or just a follow on Twitter or on Tumblr.