What is going up with you?

The feelings when you're like me

What I've learned in the few years I'm alive is that I don't like to talk about my thoughts or my problems or my fears or my ideas. I just swallow them down and when they are realy realy good I spit them out. This is what I'll do today. I spit at you.

Many questions, few answers

I've got sometimes this feeling that I could do whatever I want in a special situation but in the end the result just sucks. I'm not satisfyed with it because I spent so much time and thoughts on it so I want to see perfection. Like if I'm learning for a test because I want a good mark and if I receive the test back and it isn't in area it should have been. I'm just sad and dissappointed. Am I to dumb? Thats a question which comes into my minde so often. I often answer it with "yes" but sometime with "No, you are very intelligent. You have achieved so much." Is this enough? Can I even do more?
I would like to do more. To learn more, to be better then others, to be more likeable. Does the time change my issues? Do I even have issues? So many questions and so few answeres. What's important is, that you have to motivate yourself. Thats what I have to learn. Because everythng is possible. EVERYTHING

Success

Lately I'm asking my self what I want to do in my future. I want to be succesful. "You have to work so that you can be succssesful" that is going in mind. What if I can't be successful in something? Is this even possible to be succesful in something? You can be a good singer but if youre not the best one, you aren't succesful. Is this true. I don't think. What I do think is, that you can be successful in every situation in your life. You could say that success does not interest me. Well you lie. I would say at everything you do you can be successful. If you raise a child. If you can cook. If you read books. If you can stand up early. So so many things. And thats what I realized. If I get good grades I'm successful. Of course you can define success way different then others and thats good. But whats count is that we live our lives.

My way

I'll want to study and to be good at it. I know it will be hard but I can do it. So many others have done it why not me? Then I will work. Will earn enough money. Will be successful, because I will have to feed my family. I want to be happy with my decisions I'm going to make, because I'll go a way. My way.